


hold on sailor, hold on partner

by gumshoes



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort/Angst, M/M, S2 Ep14 spoilers, a little canon divergence as a treat, pining and yearning hours!, we r out here coping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gumshoes/pseuds/gumshoes
Summary: sometimes you are just two boys sitting on top of the roof of your friend's magical van in the dead of night, talking together about your feelings and various traumas to cope.
Relationships: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	hold on sailor, hold on partner

**Author's Note:**

> set season 2 episode 14,,  
> the hell crew returned with small triumphs and upsetting news  
> \---  
> title based off of 'hold on sailor' by jenna caravello

to say that fabian's spring break was going absolutely wonderful would not be true, but to say the opposite wasn't exactly right either. he rested on top of the hangvan, lots had happened to him, so many things that he had repressed and just stuffed down into nothingness had come back, threatening to change his world completely. and in a way it had. the mess that had been their short visit to the pirate town of leviathan, where his father’s legacy outlived him. meeting alistair ash and the rest of his dad’s followers, leading those exact same people who had looked up to him with starry eyes straight to their demise as captain james whitclaw’s crew struck them down. one after another they had fallen, dashing fabian’s hope across the ground.

and soon after the defeat of the ruthless mindflayer captain traveling to his ancestral homeland of kei lumennura where fabian had met his telemine for the first time, introduced to an entirely different idea of what he was made of. Something less cunning and rash than the life of a pirate, something different in a good way. remembering his grandfather and the strange village made fabian pull the fine elven sheet closer around him.

a lot had happened and for the first time fabian felt, true to himself? It was hard to say or put the pieces together in his mind. no more wanting to fit the exact mold of his father, realising that he was more than bill seacaster’s shadow, fabian aramais seacaster was his own person, just thinking of that made the half-elf nestle a little deeper into the sheet. there was still a long way to go, and not just in discovering what kind of person he really was, but the whole spring break adventure had tons of possibilities. dangerous, scary, and overall uncertain. acknowledging these things was a whole lot, he needed to process all of this. so he lied down, back meeting the smooth metal of the hangvan. trees and leaves covered the night's inky black sky, only a few stars twinkling through, the outside peaceful and comforting. the sounds of crickets and frogs chirping lured his good eye to flutter between being open and closed, till finally fabian fell into a light sleep.

\---

usually the sleeping sounds of his friends and their companions would help riz work, but tonight luck seemed like it didn't favor riz. nothing seemed to favor riz lately after his encounter with kalina in hell. the small freckled goblin already had a hard time going or staying asleep and if he already wasn't sleep deprived he definitely was now. even when he was able to get those rare hours of sleep by drifting off to bed while sorting evidence horrid flashes of his father's bruised bloody face would reappear, as if the lack of knowledge he knew about his father didn't already halfway make him frightened to hell and back. riz would wake up breathing heavily, hands shaking, heart beating faster than he ever thought it could, feeling absolutely disgusted. just remembering the thought of his dad made him want to vomit once more, but riz prevented it. he was stronger than this, he just needed a little fresh air something to take his mind off of his recurring nightmare. and so he stealthily slinked out of the van, sure that nobody would notice, riz gukgak was nothing more than a shadow.

as riz pushed open one of the hangvan's door greeted by the night's cold air. much more comfortable than the van's humid stale air, he told himself. now he just needed to clear his mind, throw a few rocks at mushrooms, try one of the anxiety management techniques adiane had told him about one time, anything but focusing on the case at hand. it wasn't riz's style to unpack emotions that troubled him, just shove them back in his brain, for an eventual date labeled ‘later’ that even he didn’t know was how far away.

sighing the goblin scrabbled up the hangvan, deciding to get a better vantage point, look at the stars through the shifting leaves as a distraction. upon climbing the hangvan he noticed the figure of his sleeping best friend, who stirred at his arrival. fabian's eye opened lazily as he mumbled a sleepy “hello, the ball” to riz.

riz quietly greeted him back as fabian sat up, once more dangling his long legs off the side of the van. as soon as the half-elf noticed riz's silent hesitance he looked back at the goblin and pats the van for riz to sit next to him.

\---

"what brings you up here so late mister detective," fabian asks, halfheartedly studying his friend's face, eyebrows shifting as he notices riz's obvious discomfort.

riz's words are short and to the point, fabian knows him well enough to know that something is seriously bothering him "couldn't sleep, couldn't work anything out with the whole shadowcat ordeal, needed fresh air." he mumbled, avoiding fabian's eye contact.

he takes a closer look at riz’s face, his hair is disheveled, the usual bags around his eyes seem deeper and darker than normal, glasses crooked and slid a bit too far down his nose, he just sits there eyes staring blankly ahead.

Seeing riz like this makes fabian’s stomach twist, he isn’t used to seeing the little goblin so grim and just out of it. over winter break he had hung out with riz and the other bad kids, riz more than usual. he was so used to seeing riz’s eyes shine with excitement in solving another one of his cases, swinging around a mug of slightly cold coffee as he hurriedly explained it with exaggerated hand motions. fabian is used to riz distant gaze as he focuses on his notes, sitting on his bed watching him scribble words sloppily onto a number of notepads. it, if anything, was endearing seeing his best friend so indulged and passionate in his work, taking time to explain to fabian even though he didn’t really understand half of it.

but this was off, ever since the crew that had traveled to hell came back riz seemed more distracted than ever, jumpier than ever.

fabian hesitates a few seconds before asking, phrasing his words carefully “riz,, can i ask you what happened down there?” riz’s eyes immediately flick back to fabian, his body tensing slightly. “ah, um,, it’s okay! you don’t need to tell me if you want to-” fabian’s confidence waverers, and he shakes his hands dismissively before riz stops him.

“fabian i saw my dad” fabian shuts up, riz continues. “, i saw my dad, in hell. kalina was there and then she led me down some sort of dark hallway she had summoned, and i saw him.” riz’s face is a mixture of hurt, confusion, and disgust. fabian remained silent, taking in the information that riz let spill out. “he was there, tied up in some chair, gagged and beaten. surrounded by some sort of council of goblin threatening him with a bucket of acid.”

“that’s horrible,,” fabian softly mumbled, eyebrows creased with concern. riz looked up from his lap, back directly at fabian’s eyes, his own now slits. “and you know what’s fucked up? that i barely know anything about him! why he’s in hell, what he did, his and kalina’s partnership.” riz sighed heavily shaking his head, letting the anger building up in him flow out.

there was a long pause, silence where riz pulled his knees up to hold, a moment before the other spoke. “i don’t know what to do fabian,” riz confessed, voice now quiet. “how am i supposed to do anything right, can’t figure kalina’s whole deal, let her get to my head, i just don’t know.”

another long rest of utter silence, “maybe we both stop worrying about our dads so much.” fabian said. “maybe our dads were just two shitty people who we looked up to for a long time before realizing what was wrong about their ideology.” the half-elf mused on. “maybe,” riz repeated, closing his eyes. fabian gently puts a hand on riz’s shoulder, “riz i know this nightmare king’s crown search is a big thing, but it’s also spring break, you shouldn’t have to feel the need to do this all by yourself” riz opened his eyes, slightly glaring at fabian with his cat-like eyes “yeah, but this is also a good portion of our grade, not to mention what could happen if kalina and arianwen succeed” he insisted. “all i’m hearing is ‘what ifs’ riz~’ fabian teasingly nudged riz with a shoulder. riz rolled his eyes in response, but fabian did notice the smallest of smiles appear on his distraught friend's face. “besides, you saying you can’t do anything right is bullshit, you’re probably like one of the smartest people i know” fabian gushed, earning a little laugh from riz.

in the cold of the night fabian felt his chest heat up, the odd warmth spreading to his cheeks and stomach, an odd feeling of happiness passing over him hearing riz’s goofy laugh that he adored secretly. “thanks fabian,” riz said with a soft sort of earnestly. “you’re not too bad yourself,” riz’s toothy grin emerged. at that point fabian’s heart sputtered, cheeks certainly flushed now, he prayed that riz couldn’t notice it in the dark. “and what’s that supposed to mean, the ball?” fabian pulled off a response, voice stuttering for a moment. “oh you know,” riz shrugged at his own vague answer, smile only growing larger. “stop that!” fabian’s confusion only made riz laugh more, fabian feigned a pout as riz’s tired laugh chimed through the crisp forest.

seeing riz like this, a little more relaxed, a bit more calmed down, and with a goofy smile spread on his tired face made everything feel a little better. riz released his knees and let his feet dangle off the van “y’know it’s nice spending time together with you” riz mumbled, now looking up at the swaying leaves, shaking off the slightest shiver as the outside reminded him just how cold and bitter it could be outside. fabian just nodded, quiet, he then proceeded to slip the fine elven sheet around riz’s shoulders. “you too” fabian said, then returned to an unfamiliar shy silence. riz hummed a small ‘thank you’ and drowsily leaned against his friend. his brain was now too tired to think properly. this was something that friends did right, absolutely no romantic vibes here sir, he told himself trying to ignore the faint nagging at the back of his head along with other emotions that riz didn’t let out.

after all, leaning against your best friend who you had a crush on last year was comfortable, it felt safe as your best friend leaned back just as sleepy on you. yeah your brains may of been pounding with racing thoughts of the horrors of the past and those that waited for you, but holding hands with your best friend was something you found yourself looking forward to. confessing little secrets with your best friend and kissing them is completely fine and good. maybe there was still a bit of hope that things would turn out alright, as you wouldn’t have to do it alone, but with your best friend. everything would sail to shore smoothly in the very end.

**Author's Note:**

> alt title 'two boys sit on a roof and cope'  
> \---  
> hmmm,, emotions are fuck, feelings are shit! i fear so much for the bad kids, they all at some point need just one or two good counseling sessions with jawbone or something. i want these kids (and gilear) to thrive and all this spring break has brought is a good amount of emotional traumas!!!!!  
> \---  
> also sorry if this isn't great, this is my first time attempting to seriously write something and put it out into the world for other people to see it (and first time using ao3), but i just wanted to spill some thoughts ann d ideas over the latest episode


End file.
